Life Lessons From a Late Bloomer
Graduate from high school when you’re 18. Spend 4 years in college. Start your career at 22. Retire by 65, or better yet 55.
We assign certain ages to life's big events. If you live in America, you know that we have a fast-paced culture. We treat our lives like a race to achieve these developmental milestones earlier and earlier.
I realized that I wasn’t on the fast track for this race when I was a freshman in high school. My friends and I were old enough to obtain beginner’s permits. All of them but me jumped on the opportunity to learn how to drive cars, and to gain one of the most powerful forms of autonomy a teenager can exercise. For whatever reason, I couldn’t care less about driving. I already had a mode of transportation to get to school, and I carpooled everywhere else, so what was the big deal?
Instances like that didn’t stop occurring, either. The summer after my junior year, I toured a college and it had the opposite effect on me that it has on most people. At the time, I couldn’t get behind paying copious amounts of money for an education that could be achieved more practically with real life and work experience.
Then came high school graduation; I had no commitments to any universities and one vague plan to take a gap year. What did I do when nothing on the conventional route sparked my interest? How did I deal with everyone else getting on the fast track to achieve their dreams?
I stopped comparing myself to others.
Every person has a different set of circumstances which influence how they move through life. In my case, I felt strongly that I didn’t have enough work experience to make an informed decision about which major to pick for college. So, I built in a gap year to give myself more time to explore career paths. The mindset that freed me up to focus on self discovery was one of realizing that comparison is a distraction. I had to stop fixating on the fact that other people my age were going into college with at least a sense of direction. There was nothing I could do to suddenly become like them; you don’t have existential epiphanies overnight. Once I embraced the fact I was on a different path, the panic to find my purpose disappeared and was replaced with excitement to see my unknown journey unfold.
I followed my intuition.
My next biggest challenge was figuring out how to learn and grow outside of a typical college setting. I could have opted for something similar, such as community college. Or, I could explore another option called Praxis. It’s a program designed to equip young adults with personal and professional business skills. I considered these options throughout my senior year of high school. Each one offered something different but positive, and the more I thought about it the harder it was to decide. I was only able to pick by being forced into a deadline. I had two days to inform the people at Praxis if I was joining their program, which was kicking off the next week. I didn’t have time to keep thinking, and I already considered its many possible outcomes. So, I followed my intuition, and I joined Praxis. Within a month of going through the program I felt sure that I made the right decision. The effect of making this snap decision taught me that overthinking is another way to lose focus on this journey of self discovery. Acting on intuition helps me avoid convincing myself that other, potentially worse, options are better.
I’m sticking to my own plan.
Once I had a rough plan in place, I didn’t want it to fall through lest my gap year be wasted. I had to stay on course in order to make the most of my time. With Praxis, it’s been challenging to keep up with the expectations of a professional work environment, but I know that I’ll be better for it once I’ve been through it. Even with my smaller goals that aren’t related to completing the program, it can be hard to know how well I’m doing since there is no model for me to go off of. I have a unique combination of goals that not everyone puts together, again, people have different life circumstances. The thing with progress is that you plant the seed and you don't see the fruit of it for a long time. However, that seed grows under the surface the entire time. I won’t veer off or abandon my plan because I have the hope that I’ll see the fruit of my dedication once I’ve been through my gap year.
